I went with my good friend, Millie, the provider of luscious cream cakes. Millie and I have known each other since the late 70's when I was a midwife and we both worked together at The Women's Hospital, Peel Street, Nottingham. We bonded when she came to work one day looking decidedly ill and I said "Millie, you look so pale!! Then we both burst into peals of laughter and a friendship was struck that has endured all these years.
Seventeen years ago Millie lost her only son to an aggressive form of cancer. He was 35 years old. Since that time she has never celebrated Christmas, preferring to stay at home alone with her thoughts.She has even requested people not to send Christmas cards. Apart from church, the only other place she visits over Christmas is the cemetery to visit with her son. So…. when she phoned on Christmas Eve morning, I said I would go with her.
The car park was crowded when we arrived! As I said, it's not uncommon for families in England to visit cemeteries over the Christmas period. I think it's a lovely idea to remember dearly departed ones at this time.
Many of the graves were adorned with Christmas decorations.
I love the Christmas stocking:
And the thought that loved ones aren't forgotten:
This cherub was wagging his finger at me!!
This is something I've never seen before. At first I thought someone had made a big error in their
calculations and then I realized these graves were all facing east:
Even the benches were adorned with Christmas greenery:
I loved this statue adorned with fresh flowers:
There were even Christmas cards for loved ones:
Is this morbid? I don't think so, I think it's a very healthy way to approach death, dying, mourning and grieving.
After all:
Following our visit, we decided to go out for lunch. This is when the magic happened.
We headed to the Wheelhouse pub, and after changing seats we ended up sitting near the Christmas tree and in full view of the bar. After placing our orders, Millie suddenly stood up, her face as pale as when I had commented on it over 30 years ago. Behind the bar from where we were sitting, stood her son's partner from all those years ago! Millie hadn't seen her since his death and had been thinking of her that very morning! Even more surprising, at the time Millie saw her, Sharon was recounting the story of Millie's son to a patron of the pub who verified that . After a tearful reunion Sharon disappeared for a few minutes and came back with a beautifully decorated box in which she had kept all the mementos, including photos and knick- knacks, she had collected over the years spent with Everald. He was obviously still very much in her thoughts. Millie was so elated that her son's memory was not forgotten and that, unbeknown to her, Sharon had visited his grave. They visited for a long time and exchanged phone numbers. Millie was positively beaming:
Before we left, Millie had an invite for Christmas dinner the following day. After all these years, she was unsure whether to break her custom of being on her own over Christmas, but……
The next day she came to visit on her way to Christmas dinner! She was still beaming. there was a lilt in her voice and she was totally transformed. This long- lost link with her son had made her Christmas!
By the way she did call me the next day and told me what a wonderful time she had. She met long lost friends who had known her son and spoke of him with warmth and affection. She was touched by their memories of him. The best Christmas for a long time!
Merry Christmas Millie!
Love ya babes!
Talk soon
Zoe
BTW Millie graciously allowed me to share this story.
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